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| Order Of Worship (Liturgy) |
1 CORINTHIANS 7:1-9
(Reading: 1 Corinthians 6:12-7:9)
Don't!
Congregation of our Lord Jesus Christ...
I wonder how we would have felt if it had been Paul speaking or writing directly to us like this? Here he is homing in on this subject of the sexual conduct of the Corinthians. In fact, he’s really going to town about their sexual relations outside of marriage!
What he’s saying would have been far from well received by these believers! I mean, how would you like to be severely criticised for how you’ve been living? Imagine getting a blast for what you’re doing now!
You would quickly become defensive. If you know that those words are true, though, it will challenge you. It will hurt.
Mind you, then you might have an openness to doing things the right way. You could see the point and know that you’re wrong. That’s the way you change.
So, while Paul may have struck us as being negative in our text, there’s actually a positive use of the conscience of the Corinthians. We see this in chapters 5 and 6. Those verses have drawn out the terrible danger of what was happening, and what could happen. And as he showed them openly the sin, Paul just as much - and even more! - brought out Christ as the One for whom these believers were saved.
In the words of chapter 5, the verses 6 and 7, in response to a man living with his father’s wife, Paul says: “Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole limp? Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.” And chapter 6, verse 13, “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
The point is constantly reinforced that we are no longer our own, but belong to Jesus Christ. We are not of this world. As Paul brings out in chapter 6 verse 15, “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute?”
Ouch - that hurt! It’s a painful challenge. And it’s the telling off that plagues these wayward Christians until our text.
In fact, could it get much stronger than what we read at the end of chapter 6? The verses 19 and 20 said there, “do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
Congregation, now the way is shown to exactly that! That foundation of where you need to be in your walk with the Lord is brought into everyday life.
And so that we can fruitfully take in these words of our God, there are three aspects. First of all we note: DON’T SPURN! Secondly we’ll see: DON'T BURN! And then, thirdly, there is the challenge: DON’T TURN!
Firstly the text says... DON’T SPURN God’s good gift. Paul starts off the teaching in our text by saying that singleness can be a proper way to serve the Lord.
Paul can speak about this very clearly with his own example. He writes in verse 7, “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.”
So singleness is a legitimate state in which to serve the Lord. Verse 1 can be quite correct, “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman...”
That’s a thought further supported in verse 8. As he writes there, “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.”
But it doesn’t take long and two extremes can appear. Two completely different perspectives which can only take away from what Paul wants us to learn here.
One of these is the sense of these words proving that you have to be single, in order to do the best work for the Lord. This soon became a wrong thinking in some of the early church fathers. And the church then itself took it on as a wrong belief. This is what some denominations have still got up till the present day, with their clergy not marrying.
But the gifting, in this way, became confused with the calling. Believers made rash vows to a life-long abstinence which they could never keep.
It was this abuse of what was only to be for some gifted in this way which caused all sorts of problems throughout church history. Many are the sad situations of clergy having mistresses, of using prostitutes, of homosexuality, and of the recent paedophilia cases, which we can’t help but hear about through the news media!
Most saddest of all, however, was that they haven’t been open to the Lord’s clear leading in this. You don’t have to be single in order to serve on some kind of higher, more spiritual level! Paul is actually referring to it being to the Lord’s advantage if he or she could be free of the troubles, annoyances, and responsibilities which affect those who are married.
Don’t think that being in love is a bed of roses! Because then you’ve forgotten that roses are found in-between thorns!
Paul is giving us this from his own experience. He finds it beneficial, in doing the Lord’s work, for him not to be married. For we must remember that just as there are some single who should be married so there can be some married who maybe should have been single.
Here we have the second extreme. You see, perhaps some have not realised their gifting of verse 7, and have felt that they had to be married. Or that they were forced by peer pressure, or family, to marry.
And today’s pressure is still on sex. Why, look around, see the screens - whether of the movie or TV or internet, look at what’s in the magazines - and what is the major subject content of the popular books? It’s all about sex!
You know, that’s a terrible thing to put up with. A teenage girl on her first date has to literally beat off her escort as his hands are doing overtime! The young man who wonders if he’s normal when being told lurid, detailed descriptions of the escapades of his fellow students or workmates.
The abuse of singleness may not be with compulsion, but it is certainly being treated with contempt! “Ah, don’t you have a girlfriend? What’s wrong with you?” It may not even be said but it is there.
And, yet, fellow believer, the Lord still lays before us a difference. If you are still single, there is the option of simply being single and celibate.
We need to emphasise that simplicity. If you are so gifted don’t marry. The Lord has vast opportunities for you to work for him.
If you feel you could do without a boyfriend for a while, go ahead. But only if that comes from your walk with the Lord! Don’t try and misuse God’s good gift for personal selfishness.
So let’s appreciate this difference for being a genuine alternative from the Lord. Too many times there have been forced occasions of marriage, when it would have been better not to have tied the matrimonial knot, or even when waiting a while would have seen God’s gift used. No, young people, and older - DON’T SPURN!
Then again, it might be completely different. The situation could very well be for you that you DON’T BURN! This is our second aspect.
Here the desire for sexual intimacy, a passion which burns so deeply within many believers, is given its proper place. The verses 2 and 9 teach us about this. As the Spirit says through Paul in verse 2: “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” And in verse 9, “But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
There’s a different gifting brought out here. Yet did you notice how this possible difference was mentioned? Have you realised that both verses 2 and 9 begin with “but”?
But. That’s what we call grammatically a conjunction. For it’s a joining word which connects this new thought to what has just been stated.
As well as the gift of celibacy, there’s the gift of marriage. Two possibilities. No more and no less!
Yet the word “but” also tells us that what is now mentioned is a very strong thing. That’s why in verse 2 Paul makes it a command for every man to be married. “Each man should have his own wife” he says.
True, there are exceptions, as Paul himself was, but there’s no doubt as to what is to be usually the case. This confirms the words of Genesis 2 verse 18, where it says that it’s not good for man to be alone.
And let’s not miss here the context. It was quite a bit like our world today - absolutely saturated with sex! Especially Corinth - the city known throughout the Roman Empire for its debauched behaviour! And Paul, in verse 2 of our text, even alludes to how the Christians there have become sucked into that.
You see, much as we might like to think we have the self-control to hold off such temptations, we’ll often find ourselves flat on our face! There’s a difference between abusing sex and the gift of intercourse in marriage.
Young people, you can’t be warned loud enough! Don't feel pressurised by the world, or your boyfriend or girlfriend, that you must burn, otherwise you’re abnormal! Be aware of the danger of heavy petting. Even not so heavy petting - it all starts somewhere!
If you don’t, the fire leaves you burnt. And the more you get burnt, the greater the physical and psychological scars affect you when you do become married. Sin has a cumulating and consequential effect.
We see this with the effect of sexually transmitted diseases amongst the general population. And obviously something like A.I.D.S. and mpox spell out the physical disaster of going against God’s command. But there are other sexually transmitted diseases, too. For example, Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Herpes, Hepatitis B & C are prevalent throughout the western world.
It is happening because people are having more sexual partners. And while some STD’s have no immediate symptoms, they can lead to infertility in women.
And, yet, the effect spiritually to you is far worse. There are those within our churches who are suffering the effects of the misuse of God’s good sexual gift from many years ago. There may even be those from among you here who will be suffering into the future because of this abuse.
Dear believer, keep it clean; keep it wholesome; and above all keep it before the face of God. Think about whether your Saviour and Lord would be pleased in looking upon what you do. How are you depending on him for your most intimate physical and spiritual needs? This is serious!
Those who are older among you, those in relationships - have you been busy drawing out the gracious teaching for your being together? Are you showing those younger that you’re living by the Word?
There isn’t a better way of teaching sex education that by Christians who live faithfully and lovingly in marriage. To see believing Mums and Dads show they’re concerned for each other, and who openly express their feelings for each other, is powerful stuff. It’s certainly meant the conversion of many into the faith because they saw that these relationships were a lot more stable and meaningful than any they knew out there!
Sometimes it can be hard to openly share this. Especially, it seems, for Christian parents with their children. But be assured God has all the answers for your life in this department as well! It was his own Son who lovingly sacrificed himself for others. He was the most open to helping someone else. And so should we!
And, then, there is, thirdly... DON’T TURN! For if you have received God’s good gift don’t turn from where the Lord’s riches lie for you!
Now the verses 3 till 5 come out. It flows on quite logically from our second aspect - DON’T BURN! Because if it is in order to properly enjoy that closest of all physical intimacy that you become married, then to deny that can only bring the sinful inclinations the Lord wanted you to avoid then!
Being married doesn’t solve your problems! There’s more than enough gossip and opinion floating around to squash this thought!
Let’s listen to verses 3 and 4. Paul says there, “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”
John Calvin says about this that “husband and wife... have different rights and duties in other things, but in the preservation of married faithfulness they are on an equal footing.” His own life showed it. When his wife died he was quite candid in saying that originally he had married wanting his wife to be “modest, obliging, not fussy, thrifty, patient, and likely to care for his health.”
Yet by the time of her death they had a mutual sexual appreciation as our text talk about. Despite whatever socialist historians may write of Calvin’s cold logic, he was a tremendously loving, and loved, man. He was a man for whom the death of his wife was a terrible sorrow, together with the already heavy burden he suffered from his own ill-health.
Friend, could that be you and me? Is there this quality we’re finding in our relationships? Are you growing more and more physically and spiritually?
Or could it quite the opposite? It all started out with a bang. You really fell for each other. Man, what a high that was! But after a few months it started to dull. You got stuck into your studies or work. Old friends were suddenly back again.
From the outside it looks like nothing’s changed. There’s the church involvement, bible study, going out. There’s no real joy, though. You go through the motions, but it’s forced. There’s no sense of the “togetherness” of our text.
To ask the question as to whether what you’re doing is really what you ought to be doing is to risk an answer you don’t want to hear. So you don’t dare ask. You don’t even tell that to your spouse.
Still, the message gets through all the same! Your relationship isn’t good. That’s why the Lord commands us to love each other. He regards our personal intimacy of such importance that we have to be married to be able to have that closest personal intimacy together. And when we are married we have to enjoy that personal intimacy. In fact, when you’re married it can only be for a special short time of prayer with him, and then only if the two of you are agreed, that you don’t have sexual relations.
God knows the power of the passion which brought husband and wife together. And now that they’re in the relationship which he blesses, he wants to keep blessing them.
Dear friend, it’s easy to dismiss it! But unless that intimacy is constantly “given” - fulfilled - as verse 3 notes, and done only in marriage, Satan lurks at the edges. Much as we might have thought that he will only tempt us because of the extra length of our fasting for prayer, yet the warning is for the whole of how we are together.
So, please, don’t risk the terrible pain of being burnt, when in your marriage you can have a most wonderful gift. Avoid those places, those objects, and that particular selfishness, which should be for your future partner alone. The growing tragedy of extra-marital affairs in churches really tells us of believers who left the rails early on in their marriage. And, yet, the grace of God tells of so many couples, who, even though separation and divorce seemed inevitable, still received the gift fresh again.
Please “come together”. Find each other, and most of all, find your dear Saviour, in this wonderful gift he always holds out new once more.
DON’T TURN! But, yes, do return! As husband and wife, make it your deepest desire to live simply out of Christ’s love for you. Think about the price he paid. Remember the pain he felt. Then the overflowing love which poured from Calvary’s tree, will rush down to you and me, and to all we relate to, and even to everyone we see.
That’s how children learn to love. Not by material things to bribe. Rather, by the spiritual gift which is shown so well in lives that receive. And then we cannot but give!
Think about this question: What do you think would be the best way to learn for your future? Where could children get the best education?
The T.V.’s not much good. The movies are even worse. And as for some of those magazines, and what you see on the Net!
We need good teachers. And good teachers are those who are still good students. So how about looking to a Mum and Dad who really are struggling to learn from their Master? That’s real life!
And, you know, looking to that kind of example now, and spending time with Christians who believe this, and reading and watching those who are promoting God’s way, makes you go the right way. For haven’t most of us been brought up that way? That makes your day - every day!
Amen.
PRAYER:
Let’s pray...
Lord Jesus, again we’ve been pointed to the love you gave to us. Help us to truly relate to each other like you did to us. Help us always to look to the needs of others and not what we selfishly want.
Because that means we’re following your way. You who gave your life that we might live! And don’t we truly live in you, Lord!
Amen.
* As a matter of courtesy please advise Rev. Sjirk Bajema, if you plan to use this sermon in a worship service. Thank-you.
The source for this sermon was: www.rcnz.org.nz
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