The Forgiven Person Is a Forgiving Person

Matthew 18:15-35

Human beings are not always forgiving. And even if we think we’ve forgiven, we actually haven’t because we still bring to mind the offenses against us. We remember them. We don’t try to forget them. Instead, we brood and nurse our hurts. And when we don’t forget, when we don’t surrender the hurts to God, we aren’t actually forgiving either. That’s why it’s important for us to learn how to forgive. After all, when we pray to God, we ask him to forgive us as we forgive others. Curious that the Lord Jesus taught his disciples to pray this. Perhaps we ask - you mean if I don’t forgive others then God won’t forgive me? I thought God forgives on the basis of our repentance. But if his forgiveness is dependent on how well we forgive others, then isn’t salvation by good works? This is a question we’ll answer as we go through the passage. But as our catechism reminds us; as believers we pray that God would not hold our sins against us; and the evidence of such salvation in us is our willingness to forgive others. The forgiven person is a forgiving person.

This evening’s sermon speaks on a topic that all of us struggle with. We struggle to forgive. And that’s why we are living in sin - because when we don’t forgive, how can we go to God for forgiveness? Many people hold on to unforgiveness for years. You have Chinese kungfu shows that speak about generational feuds between families who go through cycles of being hurt, taking revenge, and hurting others. We see in our text 3 important lessons to Christians who struggle with forgiveness. Firstly, we must forgive as God forgives us. Secondly, an unforgiving person is an unforgiven person. Thirdly, we need to help others forgive and seek forgiveness.

Firstly, we must forgive as God forgives. Forgiveness is not putting a person’s sins on his account anymore. When we ask God to forgive and God forgives us, he won’t hold that sin against us anymore. Jeremiah 31:34 says - “for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.” So when a person asks God for forgiveness, he’s asking God to release him from his debt. He’s asking that God would not hold it against him. He’s asking for a clear account. That’s why “forgetting” or more accurately, not bringing it up against the person - is a necessary part of forgiveness. God does not bring it to memory anymore. That’s part of forgiveness. There’s no forgiveness without forgetting. Now, it doesn’t mean that God has no memory of it - he does. He’s God - he’s all knowing. But he doesn’t use that knowledge of our sins against us when we’ve asked him for forgiveness.

In Matthew 18, we see we must forgive like God forgives us. In Matthew 18, Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother - till 7 times? In the tradition of the Pharisees, forgiveness was granted 3 times. But after the third time, you didn’t have to forgive anymore. It was a 3 strikes policy - after the first offense, you forgive; after the second, you forgive; and after the third, you forgive. But after the fourth, you are justified not to forgive even when the person seeks forgiveness. So when Peter brought up 7 times, he must’ve thought himself as being very forgiving. But Jesus told him that forgiveness should be limitless because God’s forgiveness is limitless. Not 3 times as the Pharisees taught; not 7 times as Peter proposed, but limitless. 70x7. And we should not take it literally. Jesus was using exaggeration to illustrate the principle of limitless forgiveness.

He also did this by telling a story. A citizen owed the king 10,000 talents. This was a large sum. Again, Jesus used exaggeration. 10,000 talents was more money than a country could make in a year. For example, the region of Idumea, Judea, and Samara earned 600 talents a year. Galilee was smaller than they were - but it was rich, so it generated 300 talents by itself. But 10,000 was a lot. How could one person have that kind of money? And how could he ever pay it back? So obviously, the man couldn’t pay. So the penalty was to sell him and his whole family into slavery. Of course, we know they could never pay it back. It would take them several of their natural life times. But what follows is an equally preposterous suggestion. The servant pleaded for patience - he was sorry. He asked the king to spare him and he’d make full repayment. And this was impossible. The servant couldn’t. If this was the annual revenue of a country, how long would it take for one man to pay it off? Commentators suggest 150,000 years. 1 talent was equivalent to 15 years work. So multiply that by 10,000. But we learn that the king was gracious. He forgave the debt. He was lavish in forgiveness.

And God forgives this way. Jesus said in verse 23 that the kingdom of heaven was likened to that king. Meaning, that king represents or describes God. So when we ask God for forgiveness, no matter what the sin, or how bad the sin, or what much of the sin, he will forgive. That’s Jesus’ point to Peter. This is the way we are to forgive. Not 3 times or 7 times, but 70 times 7. When a person who has sinned against us, seeks forgiveness and offers payment, we must forgive. How do we know Zacchaeus was repentant? Because if he was going to give half his wealth to the poor and return four-fold to those from whom he had stolen, he’d be a poor man. True repentance proves itself by a sorrow that wants to make things right. So when a person seeks forgiveness, we must forgive. This is what God does. When we seek his forgiveness, he forgives. Every time.

Colossians 3:13 says that we must forbear and forgive one another - if any man have a quarrel against any, forgive as Christ forgave. Even as Christ forgave, lavishly, every time upon repentance, this is how we must do it. The word for forgiving in Colossians 3 means to grace someone. Not out of reluctance or obligation but willingly - like a magnanimous king. And that is why, when we understand the grace of God, we can truly understand forgiveness. But if we don’t understand the grace of God, we can’t understand forgiveness. How must we forgive? We must forgive graciously like God forgives.

But secondly, an unforgiving person is an unforgiven person. This servant that was forgiven unfortunately, didn’t have the king’s attitude of forgiveness. He went out and found a fellow citizen who owed him 100 pence. He grabbed him and demanded the money back. Now, the second servant pleaded with him. Actually, he used the same words as the first servant toward the king - “have patience, and I will pay all.” While the first was an exaggeration - it’s impossible to repay 10,000 talents, 100 pence was easily paid up. 100 pence could be earned in 6 months. 10,000 talents would take 150,000 years. 100 pence can be carried in the pocket. 150,000 talents would take a whole company of soldiers to carry them.

The first guy was unforgiving. Even though the sum was small, he wouldn’t forgive, even though the second man was repentant. And so by doing this, the first fella put himself above the king. The king had the right not to forgive. When Adam and Eve sinned, God had the right not to forgive. They broke God’s covenant with them. They had to pay. God already warned them - thou shalt surely die! But God forgave them. And Christ died for them. God showed them through the sacrificial animals whose skins were used to clothe their nakedness. God showed mercy and grace. He was willing to show compassion. This was the character of the king. Verse 27 said the king was moved with compassion. The Bible tells us that God is a compassionate God.

And so this servant wanted the role of the king, but was not willing to adopt the character of the king. As a result, the king judged the man. By not forgiving we show a mean spirit, not the spirit of God. And this shows that we don’t understand forgiveness and repentance. Unforgiveness means unforgiven. And if we don’t understand forgiveness and repentance, it may mean that we have not been forgiven. Jesus taught us to pray - “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” And in verses 32-33, the king called him a wicked servant because he did not show compassion like the king did. This tells us that Christian forgiveness and God’s forgiveness are related. If we’re forgiven by God, we have the ability and the duty to forgive each other. Remember, Colossians 3 says - even as Christ forgave you - even as he has shown grace, we ought to show grace. And that’s what our catechism also tells us - “we also find this evidence of Your grace in us that we are fully determined wholeheartedly to forgive our neighbor.” If we have not experienced or understood that grace of God, it’s no surprise we can’t show it ourselves. What if we don’t forgive? Answer - God’s displeased. And we probably should examine seriously our standing before God to know if we are a child of his. His children have experienced that grace and show it to others.

But thirdly, we need to help others forgive and seek forgiveness. In Jesus’ teaching, forgiveness is granted when forgiveness is sought after. If there’s no repentance there is no forgiveness. Luke 13:3 says, “except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.” To the thief on the cross who pleaded with him - “remember me when you are come into you kingdom,” Jesus answered, “today you will be with me in paradise.” The other thief never repented. Forgiveness is never automatic - without repentance. Neither should we expect others or demand that others forgive us when we haven’t repented. In Luke 17:3-4, Jesus said, “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.”

But these verses are also instructive. What if he does not repent? What if he does not come 7 times a day? Yes, verse 3 tells us to rebuke him so that he repents. Remember, when others saw the unforgiving servant being merciless toward the second man, they told the king. Verse 31 - “So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry or upset, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.”

Now, remember - before Peter had asked about forgiveness, Jesus had taught on discipline. The Bible speaks of admonition, confrontation, and rebuke. In verse 15 we learn - “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” Now clearly, we see the attitude of forgiveness here. If your brother has sinned against you, go and tell him. It doesn’t say “go and sue him, go and punch him, go and gossip about him.” It says “go and tell him his fault between him and you alone.” The whole idea is - you sinned against me. I’m telling you so that you can listen and repent. If he hears and repents, you have gained a brother. Even Colossians 3:13 acknowledges this - “if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” The word quarrel means complaint - a grievance or accusation against someone else. And that means there’s blame. So when a complaint is made, and when blame is accepted, we forgive.

Yes, it goes on to say that if he doesn’t listen, bring witnesses and if that goes south, we’re to bring in the church, meaning the elders. And the elders are to examine if there’s still sin - a lack of repentance - and they are to decide if this person is a Christian or not. You see, Christians sin. We’re not Christians because we’re sinless. We’re Christians because we’ve been forgiven. And a Christian forgives. If a Christian who’s been forgiven walks in his sin and refuses to repent - then he may not be truly a Christian. Likewise, the point is this - if a Christian who says he’s been forgiven, but does not forgive, he sins and may not really be a Christian.

This is why we are to help others to forgive and to seek forgiveness. Because forgiveness is a Christian thing to do. Naturally, the forgiving and forbearing side of Christians make us slow to mete out punishment. The wicked servant laid hands on the second man, took him by the throat, and cast him into prison even though the man asked for forgiveness. He was very quick. And quick to punish. And to ignore the plea. When there is no plea for forgiveness, what do we do? Be quick to punish? No. God’s character is still forbearing and slow to anger towards those who are rebellious.

And this is what God does with sinners. In 1 Peter 3:20, God waited 120 years for Noah to build the ark. Why? God was giving the world 120 years to repent. Remember how God looked down and saw how every imagination of man was wicked. Yet, he waited 120 years. Noah preached the gospel and warned the people. If God can do that, we can also forbear with those who sin against us. Be patiently waiting for those who are rebellious. And why should we do so - we know God’s wrath on the impenitent. We’re reminded that upon the wicked God will rains snares and fire. We even see it in our story - to those who aren’t truly believers; who won't forgive, they’re not forgiven. They’re not believers.

And so we remind each other of the goodness of God. When God forbears, he forbears in love. Matthew 5 reminds us that he causes the sun to rise on the evil and good, sending rain on the just and unjust. Why? Romans 2:4 says, in speaking to the man who is unrepentant, “Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?” God patiently seeks out sinners to give them the opportunity to repent. And how do we do this? We show kindness - just as God does. Romans 12:20-21 - “Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” When we do good, when we show kindness, as God wills, it will change the person - the coldness and hardness of his head and heart will melt away. That is active forbearance to help and seek out those who need to forgive and seek forgiveness.

This is what God does. He’s the greatest practitioner of forgiveness. And if he has forgiven us, when we’ve seen his goodness, we are motivated to forgive. May the Lord help us to be forgiving people, even as we seek his forgiveness.

1. We Must Forgive as God Forgives Us

2. An Unforgiving Person Is an Unforgiven Person

3. We Need to Help Others Forgive and Seek Forgiveness