Dedicating a Child to Foolishness or Faithfulness?

Proverbs 22:1-16

Next week we’ll be having adult baptism, confession of faith, and covenant baptism. There, parents come to witness God’s sign and seal upon our children, hearing his promises to us. And they vow to bring our children up as believers, to teach them about and point them to the Lord Jesus in the gospel. And parents do that. They train positively - they bring them to worship, to love the church, read the Bible, and have a biblical mindset. Some do it better than others. Some wrongly believe that if you just bring them once a week, miraculously they’ll love the Lord Jesus. And to them, it’s better than nothing - as if it’s okay. But we’re also to train negatively - to teach them to hate evil. Some do this badly. Legalistic parents believe that banning all things will change the heart. Lenient parents say banning nothing allows the gospel alone to change hearts. After all, catechized children would know how to respond to the world, right? You think? Dearly beloved, the world is catechizing our children. How are we catechizing against the world? While the grace of God teaches them to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts, to live soberly, righteously, and godly; the world teaches them the opposite. Are we dealing specifically with the world’s values in our training? If we don’t dedicate them to faithfulness, they’ll be dedicated to their natural foolishness. We will look at three points from this passage. Firstly, ungodly dedication leads to lasting foolishness. Secondly, natural foolishness versus unnatural faithfulness. Thirdly, godly discipline releases foolishness lastingly.

Firstly, ungodly dedication leads to lasting foolishness. Verse 6 says - “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Verse 15 says - “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” Meaning, training and discipline lead to certain results. But what’s the context for these instructions? What specifically are our children trained in and disciplined against? To understand the context, we must see chapters 21 and 23. And both talk about our attitude toward wealth. Proverbs 21 speaks about God’s providence. Even in times of poverty, if you know God’s in charge, you’ll be holy. Not only will you work hard, but in difficult times, you’ll trust him. But it’s not easy! When Job lost all, his wife was very shrill. She wanted him to curse God. So chapter 21 emphasizes wise attitudes and words. In tough times, will we be righteous in word or bitter? So Proverbs 21 is about righteous words, work, and wives concerning wealth. Then there’s Proverbs 23. Same theme. It warns against envy - don’t envy the rich. The king eats caviar, you can’t! Get over it. And it warns against overworking to get rich. Finally, it ends with instructions on obedience and discipline of children.

Now, what about Proverbs 22? Same idea. So don’t take verses 6 and 15 out of context. We normally use it to talk about general spiritual training. Yes, that’s good. But we must train and discipline when it comes to attitudes to wealth. It’s seen all over. Verse 1 speaks of silver, verse 2 about the poor, verse 7 warns against borrowing, verse 9 praises generosity. And we’re to rescue them from an independent self-centered spirit: verse 10 - cast out the scorner, verse 11 - the Lord loves those of pure hearts and not those in verses 12-14 - the sinful who have slothful and lustful attitudes. So are we dedicating them to a life of foolishness - to live for comfort and wealth; having a selfish outlook? Or are we dedicating them to faithfulness? When Ahab didn’t get Naboth’s field, he complained! Jezebel scolded him - aren’t you the king?! Just take it! On the other hand, Paul was content - whether he was rich or poor. And his attitude was godly. He glorified God - rejoice in the Lord always, and again, I say rejoice!

So given the context, what’s the meaning of training? Verse 6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Now, taken the traditional way, this verse is a promise. If you train a young child in the godly way he should go, he won’t depart from it in old age - wayward children will ultimately return. This encourages godly training. But this verse may not mean what we think it means! I want to offer an alternate meaning. You may not agree, but hear me out. And practically speaking, the application of child training, is still the same if not more rigorous. Now, what’s the alternate meaning? Firstly, the word “train” is used elsewhere to describe dedicating a building. And secondly, the word “should” is not in the original. So literally, it reads - “dedicate the child to his way, even when he’s old he won’t turn from it.” Seen in this manner, the verse is not a command or promise; it’s a warning. If from young, you dedicate your child to his own way, he’ll continue to follow it in old age. Why? Because his ways are foolish. Verse 15 says, “foolishness is bound up in his heart.” So if you don’t dedicate him to God’s ways, he’ll be dedicated to his own ways, and he won’t change! All children are sinful, foolish, and depraved. So be warned! So rather than a command with promise, it’s a warning with promise. And in this context - if we don’t raise children with godly attitudes to wealth and self, they’ll follow their own foolish ways.

Some might say - but I brought my child to church! Yes, but did you specifically point him to Christian contentment? If there’s no intentional training, then your parenting is actually going along with the child’s way. And sadly, our very own Asian parenting reinforces these natural foolish ways! How many have parents have said, and how many children have heard their parents saying - “Study hard to make a good living!” “How will you afford this or that next time if you don’t get a good job?” “Do you want to be a road-sweeper when you grow up?” We play directly into their foolish way, because it’s our way! We want our children to be successful rather than godly. Now, it’s true success and spirituality are not mutually exclusive, but we spend so much more time on secular success. We nurtured their love for things and a comfortable life, rather than a spiritual life, and wonder why they aren’t spiritual. Or we excuse their ways. “Aiyah, boys will be boys! My child can’t sit still. Everyone has a smart phone. My teen doesn’t need a parent now, I’ll be his friend.” If we dedicate them to folly, they’ll continue in it. And Solomon’s warning is scary. They won’t change even in old age. Yes, fools die young, but those who live will remain foolish. Are we dedicating our children to lasting foolishness? Proverbs 29:15 says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself (or dedicated to his own way) brings shame to his mother.”

So we see in this passage a comparison of that natural foolishness we’re dedicated to and the unnatural faithfulness we must be disciplined toward. That’s the second point - natural foolishness versus unnatural faithfulness. And we want to reiterate the context. In our training of our children in the gospel, do we train them to deny self and love Christ? And how much of it concerns attitudes to wealth? To be sure, the Bible doesn’t condemn riches, but it condemns loving riches. But is there a disconnect in our training? We bring them to church to be taught the gospel, but we don’t teach them not to love the world! We somehow think that catechism and weekly church attendance will miraculously transform them. And by our own lives, we dedicate them to their natural foolish ways. In this passage Solomon gives insight to what our attitudes to wealth should be. And we learn straight off that wealth and privilege are not better. Verse 1 - “A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.” Consider the comparison. Good reputation is better than great riches. Hm! Good is better than great! The adjective is better than the superlative. How can that be? That’s because riches can’t compare to reputation. Therefore the implication is simple. Riches can’t buy a reputation. But the ungodly think it can. That’s why the Corinthian church had so many problems - they looked up to rich people. It’s natural to favor the rich. But James says don’t because God’s no respecter of persons. Dearly beloved, this is something many of us haven’t learned. We think that status gives privilege. You may remember, my father was a diplomat. When he was stationed in Iran, mom had a modest Honda to get around, and they were supplied a chauffeur. But because the car had diplomatic license plates, the chauffeur drove the car like it was a Hummer, expecting everyone to give way on the crowded roads. Wealth and privilege are not better. Instead, Solomon says loving favor - or good graces is better than silver and gold. Why? Verse 2 - both rich and poor end up in the same place - death. Death is the great equalizer.

Wealth is not better. In fact, wealth without holiness is dangerous. Verse 3 contrasts the wise and simple. A truly wise and holy person sees the danger of wealth and takes precautions. But the ungodly suffer consequences because they reject the dangers. Verse 5 lists the consequences - thorns and snares are in the way of the froward. We don’t have to look far - the rich fool who built greater barns, Lazarus and the rich man, the rich young ruler. How are we training our children to be godly, to know the dangers of wealth? To be clear, wealth is not bad, but it has many dangers. Only the godly can see them. But those who don’t guard their souls can’t see them. But when your children are godly, trained in God’s ways, what can they see? Verse 4 - they’ll see that true riches, honor, and life are humility and the fear of the Lord. Dearly beloved, are we letting these natural ways govern our children?

How’re you training and dedicating? Now, however you take verse 6 - as a command or warning, the result’s the same. We must train them with God’s attitude toward wealth and success. But if you don’t, you’re dedicating them to their natural inclinations. If they grow up thinking success makes a person, this mindset is impossible to get rid of. And we’re not exempt. Verses 7-9 speak of the snares of wealth. Those who desire to get ahead land themselves in many troubles. They borrow and become servants to lenders. Don’t most of us have this experience. You have a mortgage? How many? Car loans? Credit card debt? Yes, we’ve fostered a love of things. How long will we take to pay off our homes and cars? Now with Atome (A-to-Me), we can buy in installments, interest free - and that deceives us to spend more. Now, these things within reason are okay - it’s the how the world works - but it’s how the world works! And they can become snares. So as we live life, how have we demonstrated to them a holy attitude toward wealth? Do we underpay our employees? Refuse to pay street parking? Fight over taxi fares? Show forth a stingy spirit? Verse 8 says such unjust people will be judged. But the generous are blessed, verse 10.

But ultimately, our attitudes to wealth are linked to our character. Do we have an attitude of independence? Of self? If our children won’t love God’s laws, they won’t love purity of heart. They’ll follow their ways. They’ll have a spirit of independence. Verse 10 speaks about the scorner - the one who scoffs at God’s ways. Translated as mocker in other parts of Proverbs, he’s the worst kind of fool. He won’t listen to counsel and he goes his own way. So taken in context - Solomon says here that if they won’t be trained in God’s ways, they’ll scorn God’s ways. We see Ahab, who couldn’t get his field. And Jezebel asked - are you not the king? Just take it. It’s an issue of self. We see this in the rich fool - who said to himself - “Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.” It’s an issue of self. If you don’t cast out the scorner from our children, they’ll fulfill their lusts. But the opposite is in verse 11 - there’s another who loves the purity of heart. He doesn’t have an independent spirit. And such a person is favored by the king. We think on the other hand of Joseph. Highly honored by father, but hated by brothers. They killed their own sheep for food. Joseph was pure in heart. He saw and reported it. They hated him and despised their father’s instructions. For a time he was brought low. But because of his purity, Pharaoh lifted him up. Daniel’s enemies wanted to bring him low, but he was honored. David sought not prestige, but a pure heart. He became king. But on the contrary, we see 2 kinds of people who live for themselves. Verse 12 speaks of the words of the transgressor - who are they? Verse 13 - the sloth, who lives for his comfort. Verse 14 - the harlot and seduced man, who live for their lust. When you have money, and not godliness, you live for your comfort and you live for your lusts. What does this all mean? If we don’t train, we dedicate our children to a life of foolishness - they will seek after wealth, prestige, status, comfort, and lust.

So what’s the solution? Discipline. That’s the last point. Godly discipline releases foolishness lastingly. Verse 15 - “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” This follows the verses on the attitude of the scorner. Parents, how do you train your children in their attitudes to self and wealth? You discipline. Now, why and when are you to discipline? Clearly it says foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. That’s why. No one ever told Ahab no! That rich young ruler couldn’t exchange everything he had for eternal life. It’s foolishness. We all know that riches enslave - the rich are never happy. But those who are content are. If you’re not content in singleness, you’ll never be content in marriage. If you’re not content with little, you'll never be content with much. Because you’re foolish. But godliness with contentment is great gain. And when do we train and discipline? The Hebrew word for “child” refers to the period of age from infancy to adolescence. Our babies, toddlers, children, preteens, teens, and youth. Training starts then. But you know what we sing to them as children? “Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama’s gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird don’t sing, Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring turns brass, Mama’s gonna buy you a looking glass…” Even if we don’t sing, we placate them with things. Young people, your hearts are bound up in foolishness. You must seek the Lord. Only he can give you happiness.

And how are we to discipline? The rod of correction. Now, many of us were disciplined in anger. The Asian way. And we may be averted to it. But if you don’t discipline with the rod, your child will be foolish. Many Christians have uncontrollable children. A word to parents training their children - your children cannot be your boss. When they come to an age of understanding - which is young enough - teach them to sit, listen, be quiet, to understand the reverence of worship. Don’t read to them because they’re bored. Train them. Don’t entertain them in worship. Train them from young to worship. Prepare them at home. Sometimes the rod of correction is needed. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of the children. What releases it lastingly? The loving rod of correction. And this extends especially to wealth and self.

Indulge their greed, they’ll only be interested in money in life. Cater to their impulsiveness, they’ll spend like no one’s business. Ignore their sloth, and next time they’ll work only when they feel like it. Let them play computer games all day - they’ll never leave home and set up their own lives. And not teaching them to save, you’ll always need to bankroll them. But if we do train, they’ll be wise, knowing that reputation and holiness are better than chasing after wealth. Wealth has its pitfalls - chief of which, a mocking heart. Dedicate a child to his ways, he won’t change from it. And how do you discipline if you do not teach God’s ways? While Proverbs 22:6 may be a warning and not a command, Proverbs 6:20-22 is the command we need - “My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.”

Who were these commandments written to? Whose son? Yes, Solomon’s son. But whose son also read these growing up? Our Lord Jesus Christ. This is why when he was tempted with great gain, with limitless food, with all the kingdoms of the world, with self - our Lord Jesus sought to live for God. The laws of his Father guarded his heart. He sought to live by every word of God, he sought not to tempt God and live for self, and he sought only to worship God alone, and not to give into temptation. Adam and Eve had everything they wanted in a perfect garden - but yet they gave into self. Christ who was in another garden, submitted himself to God’s will. He endured suffering. And in the end, he was honored. He sits on God's right hand, with joy forevermore. And to all who would give up everything to enter his kingdom, will he give that joy forevermore. This is the wisdom we need. This is the wisdom we must impart. Dedicate a child to his way, that’s it. Finished. Dedicate a child to God’s way - he will never grow old in God’s kingdom.

1. Ungodly Dedication Leads to Lasting Foolishness

A. What is the context of training?

B. What is the meaning of training?

2. Natural Foolishness Versus Unnatural Faithfulness

A. Attitudes toward wealth

B. Attitude toward self

3. Godly Discipline Releases Foolishness Lastingly

A. Why and when are you to discipline?

B. How are you to discipline?