Server Outage Notice: TheSeed.info is transfering to a new Server on Tuesday April 13th
| > Sermon Archive > Sermons by Author > Rev. Mark Chen > The High Honor of Being Single | Previous Next Print |
| Order Of Worship (Liturgy) TH 170 - Fairest Lord Jesus Psalter 2 - The Righteous and Unrighteous TH 389 - This Is the Day the Lord Has Made Psalter 204 - God Our Only Good |
The High Honor of Being Single
1 Corinthians 7:1-40
In the middle ages, the Roman Catholic church believed life was divided into two parts - the spiritual sphere and natural sphere, also called the temporal life. Things like marriage belonged to the natural sphere - they were only temporary. While God ordained marriage and it was good, it only served human society. It was temporary and didn’t perfect the individual person. That’s why they valued singleness more. Why? Because celibacy and singleness could contribute to a contemplative and spiritual life. It could aid a person’s pursuit of virtue. Thomas Aquinas even said, “since the perfection of mankind requires that some should devote themselves to the contemplative life, marriage is a very great obstacle. Therefore, Jerome says it’s not advisable for a wise man to marry.” Stay single, it’s better and wiser! Marriage is for fools! That’s essentially the messaging.
But the Reformers revived the biblical understanding of marriage. And God’s people saw its high honor. It’s not good for man to be alone. Therefore shall a man leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh. God desires a godly seed. And this revival led to a different emphasis. The covenant family, family worship, as for me and my house we will serve the Lord, etc. Praise the Lord! This is what the Bible taught. Even Martin Luther took himself a wife - to be obedient and a good example. But with such an emphasis on marriage, consequently in some circles, the topic of singleness was perhaps not given its due biblical emphasis. Singleness was seen as a secondary blessing - inferior to marriage; perhaps even something to solve - with singles conferences conducted so they’d get hitched. To be sure, the Bible does talk about the duty to marry - but we must never forget its focus on the high calling and honor of singles. We’ll explore it from this passage in 2 propositions. Firstly, all Christians have been given the gift of singleness. Secondly, all Christians are to be content with their gifts.
Firstly, all Christians have been given the gift of singleness. Yes, many Christians would like to marry and may struggle with singleness. And it doesn’t help when others pressure them. At every wedding, they’re told - don’t worry, next year it’s your turn. Then there are those who don’t seek after marriage, even though Scriptures speak about its goodness. In this passage, Paul deals with both issues very competently. In verse 1, he had to deal with their unbiblical notions of not wanting to marry. He had to correct their thinking; in verse 9, he said it’s perfectly legitimate to get married - to marry rather than to burn. Marriage is a good thing. But so is singleness. Verse 7 - “For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.” Meaning, both singleness and marriage are gifts from God. And Paul could speak competently about both. He himself was a single man. In fact, he wished all men were even as himself - to be unmarried. Verse 8 - “I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.”
Now, when we read this, it’s almost as if Paul was biased. “Of course he’s recommending singleness, he’s single!” But consider this. While he was unmarried when he wrote this letter, he was probably married at one time. Yes, this isn’t explicit from the Scriptures, but we can know it with some certainty. In Acts 26:10, Paul recounted how he spoke against Christians and voted to imprison or execute them when he was in Jerusalem. Now, how could he do that unless he had authority? And who had such authority in matters of religion? The Sanhedrin – the ruling council. Even at Stephen’s stoning, the men put their clothes at Paul’s feet who consented to his stoning. These suggest strongly that Paul was a ruler in Israel, and no unmarried man could be a member of the Sanhedrin. Furthermore, he was a Pharisee. As an observant Jew, he’d have been married. It was considered a duty, and if a man wasn’t married by 20, he be considered a sinner, excluded from heaven because he wasn’t a real man. Fortunately, we’re spared this kind of unbiblical thinking today. So Paul wasn’t married when he wrote 1 Corinthians - but was either widowed or deserted by his wife when he trusted Christ. So Paul, as an apostle also, was qualified to speak on both marriage and singleness.
And what he taught was that“…every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. So if you’re single, you have the gift of singleness. But if you’re married, you had the gift of singleness but now have the gift of marriage. Now, I think we often misunderstand this passage. We think that it teaches that some people are gifted for singleness and others are not; that some have supernatural power to remain single. But here, it’s clear singleness itself IS the gift. And similarly, marriage itself is the gift. And this is consistent with the Bible’s teaching on gifts. Gifts are not given to us for our sakes, but for other people’s sake. The word “gift” here is the word charisma - something you’ve been given graciously by God to be a blessing to others. Hence, singleness is a blessing that God bestows on us for the sake of the church. Likewise, marriage is a blessing that God bestows for the sake of the church too. How do we know this? We see a list of gifts in 1 Corinthians 12, like wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, prophecy, etc. And verse 7 says that these gifts are given to every man so that all may profit. Your gifts profit others. The word “gift” in chapter 12 is the same word in chapter 7. Also, it’s the same word in 1 Peter 4:10 – “As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”
What this means is singles and married people serve the church with their giftedness. You’re single - you’re a gift to the church to serve her for the common good. Single people can do things that married people can’t – and that’s a gift. Likewise, married people can do things that single people can’t – that’s also a gift. Single people can expend their energy and devote their time to certain kinds of service to God. That’s why Paul says in verses 32-34 that a single person can serve God without wearing the hat of husband or wife. We see this in verse 32 - “He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord.” It means the single person can care for the things of the Lord - how he can please God. He can serve God as a single without distractions. This is how a person’s singleness is a gift. Same thing with the married man. Verse 33 - “But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.” Yes, it seems at first glance that the married man is inferior because he cares for the things of the world. But this is explained by the next phrase - that he may please his wife. That’s a godly thing to do. Ephesians and Colossians instruct husbands to love their wives. But why is this caring for things in the world? Because people are only married on earth. Jesus said in heaven, we’re like the angels, not given to marriage. So this is how married people are gifted to serve God - by doing his will. Furthermore, Paul also addressed single and married women. Verse 34 - “There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” Meaning what? The unmarried woman, like the unmarried man, is set apart for the things of God. But the married woman is set apart to care for the things of the world to please her husband. As Ephesians and Colossians teach, the wife is to submit to her husband. This is also her service to God. But singles serve God without such considerations. But the comparison may still be troubling - it seems as if only singles can care for the things of God to please him while the married people care for the world to please their spouses. We’ve done one round of clarification, and will do another round; but the point that is made here is that in their gifting as singles or married, we’re to serve God by serving others. That’s the point of that gifting - to serve. So we all have or had the gift of singleness. If you’re single, you have the gift. If you’re married, you had the gift, but now have the gift of marriage. These are given for the church.
But secondly, all Christian are to be contented with their gifts. Why was Paul addressing this issue? Some weren’t sure if they should marry. Paul said it wasn’t wrong. But he said he wished they were like him - in serving the Lord. And he used such words like singles care for the things of the Lord - as if married people don’t. Why? What’s his point? And this where the context is important. It’s because of their circumstances. And in light of those circumstances, they had to be content with their situation and gifting - whether single or married. What were these circumstances? Verse 26 gives us a clue - “I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.” It’s good to remain single because of the present distress. What was that current distress? Two-fold. It was geological. Corinth was a very prosperous city - but when Paul wrote to them, earthquakes had destroyed parts of the region in 51 AD. Tacitus, a historian recorded the event. He wrote, “It was an ominous year…there were earthquakes and subsequent panic in which the weak were trampled under foot…there was a shortage of corn and as a consequence, famine.” And this crisis led them to wonder if couples who were yet unmarried should even marry. Although marriage to the Jews was something expected and sacred, Greek and Roman culture didn’t uphold its sanctity. Paul gave them the reason why being single was understandable. But the present distress wasn’t just geological. It was also political. Rome had ramped up persecution against Christians. So the present distress had to do with survival. Should we really get married in view of this? Jeremiah was called by God specifically not to marry. Jeremiah 16:2 - “Thou shalt not take thee a wife, neither shalt thou have sons or daughters in this place.” Why? Because Jerusalem would be destroyed - babies would be killed. Isaiah 13:16 speaks about how infants were dashed into pieces. That was his present distress. The Corinthians had their own. That’s why Paul wished that the unmarried and widows remained unmarried. So in light of circumstances, they should be content with their singleness. They have the gift - verse 17 - “But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.” Now, Paul didn’t command them to remain single, but he called them to walk contentedly in their calling because of the circumstances. If you’re currently single, walk in that singleness.
He said the same to the married. Some were thinking of putting away their unbelieving spouses. They’d converted after marriage. But given their circumstances, they were jeopardizing their spouses. “If I refuse to worship the emperor, they’ll come after me and my family!” In their circumstances, a burden of a family could be dangerous. We may say, “torture me, and I will never renounce Jesus.” But what if we were threatened with the torture of our family? But in verses 10-16, Paul told them to remain married. Be content in your circumstances. He illustrated this point again in verses 18-24. He used 2 illustrations to speak about contentment. The first one was about circumcision - those who are uncircumcised shouldn’t seek to be circumcised; and those who are circumcised shouldn’t seek to be uncircumcised. It doesn’t matter - spiritually it doesn’t affect you. Circumcision is nothing. So, verse 20 - “Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.” The second one was about slavery. Are you a slave? Doesn’t matter. Are you free - use your freedom. Slaves are free in Christ; and the free are Christ’s slaves. Therefore, verse 24 - “Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.” Single or married, circumcised or uncircumcised, bond or free, be content in your estate. Serve God.
Dearly beloved, we all have our circumstances. Yes, in Singapore we’re not facing distressing circumstances. But we all have our circumstances. And some aren’t easy. Some who really desire marriage have certain circumstances. And their desire eats them up. Yes, God may bring such opportunities later, but rejoice in your giftedness now. Learn to be content. You’re gifted - his gifts are best. Those lonely can find companionship with God’s people. This is where we must make time for one another. Even to avail ourselves or create opportunities for fellowship. And what also leads to contentment is energetic service. If you’re single and not really serving, you and the church lose out. And if you’re married but don’t minister to singles, they lose out. Even empty nesters, if you’re not ministering - being seniors who minister to those who are younger and the singles, they lose out but so do you. We must pursue contentment - but contentment comes by doing God’s will and being gainfully employed in God’s business.
And singles, you must know that being married is very hard. Verse 28, Paul didn’t forbid marriage, but married people's lives are more complicated. Paul wanted to spare the singles that trouble. Families have so many duties - diaper changes, school drop offs, sick days, homework, squeezing in couples’ night out, etc. Yes, family brings great joy, but also grief. Yes, singles have complications, but not complications that come from being married. Ingrid Trobisch, was a single missionary lady. On the mission field, she married. It was a happy marriage, but even she said, “There’s only one thing harder than living alone, and that’s to live with another person.” Another has said - “I like being single. I’m always there when I need me.” So we learn contentment in our circumstances. You may struggle in singleness, but if providence hasn’t brought a Christian partner, obey God. Be content. Serve and have fellowship.
But what if we want to get married? If the Lord brings, be content in that pursuit. In verses 36-38, Paul gives some closing words. He’s already told them to be content given their circumstances. He’s even given his own views on singleness. But what about those who want to marry? In verse 36, he advised those who were engaged, even in such dire circumstances, who couldn’t wait to get married, that they should get married. But in verse 37, those who decided not to marry, that’s fine too. Given the distressing circumstances, both are fine, and sometimes not to marry is better. Dearly beloved, what’s God’s word to us here? We all have circumstances in life. We all have various issues. If those issues are legitimate, it may be best not to marry. We must always examine whether our issues or legitimate or not. And at the same time, there are some who desire to get married, but you know that your circumstances aren’t the best either. Sure, it’s not wrong to get married - but marriage will be tough. You may not be mature, or financially stable, or many other reasons. We must know that marriage is tough - it’s for life. And even the most prepared will face issues, what more the less prepared? And that’s why singles must think long and hard before getting married. Whichever one you pursue - to remain single or get married, you must be content. The pursuit of marriage is good. Be content with that pursuit. The pursuit of singleness is also good. Then there are some whose life circumstances make it such that they’re single so long, comfortable with the fellowship of the church, serving heartily, that they needn’t marry. Be content with that pursuit. But sometimes God sends someone. Whichever it is, we must always pursue God - the greatest good. There’s a story of Gladys Aylward, an English missionary to China. She spent seven years there, single, happy. Then an English couple came to work nearby. She saw what she’d been missing out on. So she prayed that God would choose a man in England, call him, send him out to China and have him propose. But she was comfortable. She said in a tongue in cheek way - “I believe God answers prayer. God called him, but he never came.” And Aylward continued to serve God joyfully in her singleness.
Dearly beloved, how can we apply this message practically? It is important to see the giftedness that this church has - with married and singles. How are all of us serving each other? The Lord Jesus was single in his ministry on earth, and he expended his body and soul for his betrothed - his Church, whom he now serves from heaven, interceding for us, and being present by his Spirit with us to guide us. He was content in all circumstances. And he, through the Word, shows the high honor of singles - not because they’re just singles, but because they’re his children whom he has gifted. Let them be joyful because of the church community - who loves them and serves them. Let them also be prepared for a change of gift - all the time seeking wisdom from the counsel of others, and looking to Christ, considering their circumstances. Marriage is good - seek to be married as the Lord wills. Singleness is also good - seek to be single as the Lord wills. But let all of us look to our fairest Lord Jesus, our bridegroom - who is the chiefest of ten thousand; who for the joy set before him endured the cross - he had in his mind all of us - single or married. And that’s why we’re utterly joyful - because we’re defined not by our singleness or marriage, but by us being loved by the beloved. Amen.
1. All Christians Have Been Given the Gift of Singleness
A. Singleness and marriage are gifts
B. Singles and married serve with their gifts
2. All Christians Are to Be Contented with Their Gifts
A. Contentment in our circumstances
B. Contentment in our pursuits
Conversation for Change:
- If singleness is a gift, what are the reasons that contribute to the struggles of singles?
- Do you think that married people struggle with contentment issues as well? What are some of the things they struggle with?
- While marriage is of the Lord, there is human responsibility. How early should one start praying and preparing for marriage? Is it contrary however to plan also for a life of singleness at the same time? What would this entail?
* As a matter of courtesy please advise Rev. Mark Chen, if you plan to use this sermon in a worship service. Thank-you.
(c) Copyright 2024, Rev. Mark Chen
Please direct any comments to the Webmaster
