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| Order Of Worship (Liturgy) *Song of Adoration: Hymnal #22C “Amid the Thronging Worshipers” *Song of Preparation: Worship Folder #26 “A Christian Home” Scripture: Ephesians 5:21-33; I John 4:7-10 Text: Ephesians 5:25-33 Message: Christ-like Husbands *Song of Preparation: Hymnal #73D: 1-3 “In Sweet Communion, Lord, with Thee” *Song of Response: Hymnal #417: 1, 3, 5 “Jesus Shall Reign Where’er the Sun” *Doxology: Hymnal #363: 4 “Jesus Christ Is Risen Today” |
Beloved Congregation of the Lord Jesus Christ,
This morning we continue our study of Ephesians 5 and this most beautiful of earthly relationship, marriage. God has made us man and woman to complement each other and in marriage, to live and serve each other.
This morning we turn our attention to the calling of the Christian husband. If the wife’s calling in verse 22 is to submit, the husbands calling is to love. It was Matthew Henry who put it beautifully about this love relationship between husband and wife. “The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”
With that in mind, we turn our attention to God’s word. Our theme is The Christian husband is to be a Christ-like head of his home.
- The Call to Love
- The Call to Lead
I. The Call to Love
Verse 25 begins with the simple, “Husband, love your wives.” In fact, the call for the husband to love the wife is found three times in our text, in verse 25, 28, and 33. In fact, what we begin to see is that the woman’s calling to submit to her husband, as a recognition of God’s ordering of creation by placing herself under her husband, is very similar to the husbands call to love. That simply is to willing follow God’s ordering of the home and creation and give yourself to another in a sacrificial way.
The problem men face today in this post-Christian culture is that love and sexuality becomes more defined by Hollywood and the media than it does by the church or God’s word. We must define love as it comes from God. Turn over to I John 4:7-10. Very simply, love from God is not a feeling or an emotion. Love from God is a commitment followed by action. God loved us, so he sent his son to die for us.. Verse 25 is the most important verse for a Christian husband in terms of how he lives with his wife. If he is a believer in Christ, verse 25 is both amazing and frightening.
So, as we think of what the man is called to as one called to love like Christ, it is first of all, to be faithful to his wife and the commitment he has made. His love is to reflect Christ’s love for the church. Three times this is mentioned (v. 23, 25, and 29).
One practical way this is seen is in the fact that the husband must sacrifice in order to serve, just as Christ did. The husband is called to give of himself. When we start to think of what Jesus Christ accomplished, this begins to get fleshed out. He came down from heaven in humility, it was not for his own glory, but for the good of the bride, he suffered persecution, for the bride, he was mocked and mistreated, his words were twisted, all for his bride, he was falsely accused for his bride. Ultimately, he went to the cross and died, for his bride. That is what Jesus did in life. When we start to see the words used in our text, how much more does this move us to thankfulness. Christ in verse 26 made her holy, cleansed her with water through the Word (likely a reference to baptism and therefore to identity), he presents her to himself and one beautifully arrayed because he paid for the wedding dress, etc.
A man who loves his wife in this biblical way, will sacrifice for her. He will cherish and love her. Granted, we are sinners, but the calling in our text is for the God-pleasing marriage. Men, you will never be as faithful and consistent in loving your wife as Jesus is for the church, but this doesn’t mean you don’t strive for it. When verse 22 to says that a wife is to submit to her husband, she is to submit to a lover, not an ogre. A man whose heart she trusts, a man who places her first, a man who is giving, who will pour himself out in service and love to her. The picture from Gen. 2, is that he is to leave father and mother and cleave to his wife. Col. 3:19 says, “Husband, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
This love, commitment, affection, will show itself in very real and tangible ways as husband and as wife. In this, a husband must not be passive, but he must be active, he must lead in love and devotion to his wife, and therefore, to His Lord.
II. The Call to Lead
The calling of the Christian husband to lead is both a responsibility and a privilege. The Lord gives to this man a beautiful woman. There is much that can be said about the Lord Jesus Christ’s work in verses 26 and 27, but what it comes down to there is that Jesus is caring for, nurturing, saving, giving a new identity to, and making his bride more beautiful. Likewise, not in a saving way, but in yet a very spiritual and real way, he is to do the same.
The husband is to nurture his wife. He is to cherish and hold her, to give the opportunities to flourish, to use her gifts, talents, and abilities. The wife should feel so comfortable around her husband that she will flourish as a Christian woman, using her gifts and ideas to the glory of God’s name.
There is an aspect there of protection, not merely because the husband is usually physically stronger, but because God calls him to do this with the help of God. The husband should treat his wife in a such a way that she desire to be around and with him. From a physical appearance and perspective, a husband must make sure his wife is beautiful in his eyes. Some husbands are better at verbally expressing these things, but they must be said, they must not merely be assumed. We must not fall into the trap of the joke about the Dutchman, the Dutchman said to his friend, “I love my wife so much I almost told her.” She must feel protected and secure with her husband. There was a reason why Deuteronomy 24:5 forbids a man from going to war or having another burden laid on him in the first year of marriage. It is so that he is “…free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.”
The intimate aspect of the man’s leadership, is that he must be attentive to the needs of his wife. Marriage takes two people, and there must be communication. Problems in marriage arise when hurts are left unsaid, when one spouse tunes out the other one, when sin breaks the beautiful bond of marriage, when a spouse ridicules or humiliates the other in public or private. There is healing that can take place, but it won’t happen automatically.
She is your wife, to be enjoyed by you. When she is in public, she must not be forced to dress frumpy or something like that, but she is also not to dress for the pleasure of other men. She is your wife, husband and wife belong to each other and involves their bodies as well. A husband and wife live in the way to please each other. Love your wife in such a way that she will not seek fulfillment in another man. Turn in your Bible’s to Proverbs 5:15-19. Are you captivated by your wife’s love, whether she is 25 or 75?
Another aspect of this protection is spiritual protection. What we see in the scriptures in the very first sin is a man who is passive. Turn to Gen. 3:6, what was Adam doing? Watching his wife be seduced into sin by the Devil? It says that he was with her. What should he have done, he should have intervened and said, “no Eve, we must listen to God and not this snake.” Instead, what do we see them do? They learned what shame was for the first time. They were naked before and had not shame, now, the scriptures says their eyes were opened and they saw that they were naked. They even made coverings for themselves in verse 7. Why? There was no one else around to see them. But, this is the nature of sin, shame, and sexuality. Shame becomes a way to recognize we are in sin, but even today, this is being thrown away. Woman, in the name of freedom, reveal more and more, and then get upset when they are treated as objects. This is wrong, obviously, but they dress like objects, selling themselves for the thrill of getting “checked out.”
What happened in the rest of Genesis 3? Well, the next thing we see is blame-shifting taking place and it has been happening ever since. The man blames the woman, the woman blames the serpent and God curses them all. The man stood passively by, and ever since, the danger is for the man to be passive, to let the wife lead, let someone else take responsibility.
Men our wives and daughters are under attack today. The whole world around them is telling them to be something contrary to the scriptures. With the whole world of social media, facebook, instagram, snapchat, girls are pressured into giving into whatever the young men today desire. How can we respond? First, teach your sons to respect women and teach them about chastity and gift of marriage as they way to deal with their physical desires. Second, for our daughters, and maybe wives, make it clear to them that their worth does not and cannot come from other people, but must come from God through Jesus Christ. Teach your daughters that a man’s love will waver, a selfish man is really just a boy who hasn’t grown up, but God’s love is unconditional. Teach your daughters that their beauty is not found because it conforms to some arbitrary standard of the day, but their beauty begins in their heart, we want daughters with beautiful hearts. Charm is deceitful and beauty is fading, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised. Mothers must teach their daughters these things, but the fathers as well, a daughter will look to you for acceptance and love and care. Emphasize this in the right place, the heart, the mind, service, care, faith, and love.
Another area the man is to show sacrificial leadership is in parenting. Men must let their wives have children. When we get to chapter 6 we plan to spend more time on this subject. A husband must permit his wife to flourish in the home and in the covenant care and nurture of children. He doesn’t do this by being passive in the home. That is the most common danger today.
The last aspect of a husband's leadership we find in Christ’s work of caring, cleaning, etc. the church in verses 26 and 27. This involves worship. It is the man’s responsibility, not only, but primarily to make sure his family is faithful attending worship. When someone plants a garden, it is the gardeners responsibility to water the garden, fertilize the garden, till the soil, keep rabbits and other predators out of the garden, so that at the end of the season, he may harvest what has grown. So too, a husband, must ensure his family is centered upon God’s word. He must take them to the places where they will grow, namely worship. The husband must ensure his family is worshipping God and therefore not only on Sunday, but everyday, family worship should be taking place. When the family goes on vacation, they ought to be in worship, etc. To be a godly husband in the home is to be the sacrificial leader in the home. He must sacrifice his own time, energy, maybe some hobbies, etc. for the sake of the family the Lord has given to him.
What is it men that your wives and children desire the most? Not a better vacation, not the best name brand clothes, not the biggest house. What they need and frankly want, is you, you to be home, and when you are home to be engaged. We are busy, but we must make sure, it is of utmost importance to recognize the importance of the calling to be a godly husband.
Our text gives us the example of Christ and we men realize we can not measure up to that standard. So then what should we do? Look for strength for the one who did give himself wholly and fully for his bride. Follow the one who present his bride to himself without blemish, holy and blameless. Look the Lord Jesus Christ, and as you do so, through repentance and faith, may the Lord bless our homes, that they may be sanctuaries of grace, love and care. God has give us a tremendous calling, but He also gives us the grace for this calling. Amen.
* As a matter of courtesy please advise Rev. Steven Swets, if you plan to use this sermon in a worship service. Thank-you.
(c) Copyright 2024, Rev. Steven Swets
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